Dear Harrison,

Today is your first birthday. It's crazy how fast 1 year goes by. It feels like just yesterday I first met your little self. I remember thinking how tiny you were and how worried you looked as you tried so hard to breathe. I had no idea what to expect, no idea that you would change our lives forever in such a miraculous way. One tiny body, and look what you did! You have taught me and your daddy patience, love, endurance, and most importantly, you have brought me closer to my Savior. Before you, the world was so fast, my mind wasn't as focused on the reality of it all, the reality of this life. The day you were born, and even more so, the day I found out I would lose you, my eyes were opened. There was so much fear and even some anger, but, amidst it all I found that my Savior was always there and still is. He is always and forever standing right next to me. What a gift that is and you helped me see it! I am eternally grateful for that. 

Harrison, there have been many people in my life who are great and who I look up to, but after I met you I knew, you are my hero. You are the one in our family who has gone before us all, you are our shining star. It will be our goal to always have an eternal family and raise your brothers and sisters so we will be able to live with you again someday. Sophie still talks about you all the time. She draws you pictures, prays for you, and always includes you in all we do. We have been teaching her of the things you are doing in Heaven, how you are sharing the gospel with others. You are already such a great example to her. Keep working hard. We are all so proud of you!

This week has been pretty hard and even though my heart still aches and tears still fall, I want you to know that I am happy. I'm happy that you came, I'm happy that I held you and kissed you. I'm happy that you are safe and healthy now, and I'm happy you are my son. Heaven only knows how long it will be until I get to see your face again, but at least I can still feel you. Please stay close to us. Keep reminding me to work harder and to be better. I am still learning lessons from you. 

Happy birthday my sweet boy. I love and miss you with all my heart.

Love, 

Mom

A letter from Daddy to Harrison at his funeral.......

Dec. 24, 2013

Harrison,

Oh my dear sweet Harrison, I wanted to write you this Christmas letter to tell you how much your Mother, and I love you. We have always felt a sense of urgency when it came to having you come into this world. We both felt that we needed to have another child, and when you decided to come 7 weeks early I also knew that it was the right time for you to be here.

Watching you being born, struggle with your breathing, and having numerous malformations was hard on me personally at first, I felt so helpless at times when I wanted to so badly for you to be healed. The Father and future Doctor in me wanted to pursue every surgery and possible remedy to keep you here as long as possible. I knew; however, in my heart that it was not your mission to be here on the Earth for long, but to rather serve with our Father in Heaven. This revelation came to me shortly after your diagnosis with Trisomy 18. Your Mother and I were in the car talking about you outside of the house, I felt the spirit come to me and tell me that I was commanded to bring you into this life and it was my calling to care for you while you were here. I want you to know that I am honored to have this sacred calling. I will do my best to magnify this calling throughout my life.

We were so blessed to have you in our lives for 41 days. You brought with you a sense of peace and understanding. The nurses who cared for you, the people who visited you, your family, even those who were far away all felt that old wise spirit that you have. Their testimonies all grew in some regard, many with the truth of eternal families. I must admit that I often felt insufficient while I was around you, but I loved caring for you. My favorite things to do with you were; bathe you, and sleep with you on my chest. I loved to bathe you as it would tend to wake you up/make you nervous and you would give us the best little faces I have ever seen. I liked to have you sleep on my chest because, well, who wouldn't want a pure and sweet boy that close to them. I will always cherish those times as it brought me peace and comfort.

Throughout your life, Harrison, you were given several blessings with the power of the priesthood. I will always remember those blessings and the promises that the Lord made to you, but the promise that stands out to me, is when I as a Father, had the opportunity to bless you with eternal exaltation to live with our Father in Heaven. What a promise! Thank you for allowing me that privilege. I couldn't ask for anything more, nor would I ever want to take that away from you. I have made covenants with my Lord to be the person that I need to be to live with him and my family for eternity. Harrison, I also promise you that I will see you again. Families are forever if we allow them to be. Know that I will be with you again. I'm so proud of you, son. Just like my parents would tell me while I was on my mission; I miss you so much, but I'm glad that you are on your mission serving the Lord, and we know that is where you need to be until we meet again.

Love, 

Your very proud father.

A dear family friend of ours was so kind to create an amazing treasure for us that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. Emily Boyce of Lemon Reel Studios worked so hard to put all of our pictures and videos of Harrison together into a movie. We are so grateful to her! Words cannot even describe how indebted we are to her for this kind service she has done. We absolutely love this video. Thank you, Emily! Go here to watch the video.